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Miriam Santiago is the model of a watch to be made jointly by Japan's Seiko and French's Patek Philippe.

The brand name of the watch is “SEIKOPATEK”.
PEDRO: Anong pulutan nyo kahapon sa birthday mo?
JUAN: Pata!
PEDRO: Wow! Anong klaseng pata?
JUAN; PATA galan ng kwento!

Now, it’s time to laugh. This portion was cut from my last column.(Tsismoso)

ENRIQUE ZOBEL: half Filipino half Spanish.
HENRY SY: half Filipino half Chinese.
JUAN FLAVIER: half Filipino half Igorot.
RAUL ROCO: half Hawaiian half Polo.
JOHN OSMENA: half Filipino half Filipina.
MIKE ARROYO: half Filipino half Pork.
AI AI DELAS ALAS: half Filipino half Moon.
GMA: half...

A song for our Honorable (DAW!) Congressmen and Senators,
Mayors and Governors:
“BOOM CORRUPT CORRUPT,
BOOM CORRUPT CORRUPT,
KURAKOT, KURAKOT,
BOOM BOOM BOOM!"

Guys, have you heard the story of the mag-ina sa U.S.?

Anyway let me tell you the story of their life here in Los Angeles. Dalawa lang silang mag-ina dito sa Amerika at hinihintay nila ang pag dating ng pamilya nila. Pero unfortunately while they were waiting, the mother died. The family in the Philippines wants their mom to be buried back home pero it was so expensive. Pero dahil majority of the family wants it that way, walang choice ang anak dito sa States kung hindi sundin ang mga nakakatanda sa kanya. Dahil nga very expensive, she decided to just remain in the States and ship the coffin unaccompanied. Nang dumating na sa Pilipinas ang kanilang ina, may napansin ang pamilya na hindi maganda. Ang mukha at katawan ng inay nila ay dikit na dikit na sa salamin ng kabaong. Sabi tuloy ng isa, "Ay ....

To My Countrymen

Dear peoples from di Phillipines,

As you are already informed via the internit, you should all be fully in awareness that I am going to be the next President of the Philippines. Now I know all the votes are not yet fully counted, but who cares about counting all the votes? You've seen one ballot, you've seen them all. Trust me, they all look the same.

Sisters Mary Catherine, Maria Theresa, Katherine Marie, Rose Frances, &Mary Kathleen left the Convent on a trip to St. Patrick's Cathedral in New York City and were sight-seeing on a Tuesday in July. It was hot and humid in town and their traditional garb was making them so uncomfortable, they decided to stop in at Patty McGuire's Pub for a cold soft drink.

An old man was on his death bed. He wanted badly to take some of his money with him. He called his priest, his doctor and his lawyer to his bedside. Here's $30,000 cash to be held by each of you. I trust you to put this in my coffin when I die so I can take all my money with me.

Sherlock Holmes and Mr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep. Several hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend: "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

"Millions and millions of stars, Holmes."

"What does that tell you, Watson?"

Ganito ang mangyayari sa barko. Read along ... ...... ... ... ... ... ... ..

Taong 2005 at isang ordinaryong middle class pinoy si Noah. Nagpakita sa kanya ang Diyos at sinabing "Pagkatapos ng isang taon ay bubuhos ang ulan at babahain ang buong kapuluan ng Pilipinas. Gusto kong gumawa ka ng isang malaking arko at isakay mo rito ang pares-pares na mga hayop at mga mag-asawang pilipino sa iba't ibang kapuluan." Ibinigay kay Noah ang specs ng Arko at taos puso nitong tinanggap ang responsibilidad na sagipin ang sambayanang Pilipino sa napipintong pagbaha.

1. black hawk down - *ibong maitim sa ibaba*

2. dead man's chest - *dodo ng patay*

3. i know what you did last summer - *uyy... aminin!*

4. love, actually - *sa totoo lang, pag-ibig*

Three Little Words That Work!!

1)The three little words are: "Hold On, Please..."

Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off (instead of hanging-up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so much more time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt.

When your date drinks too much, there are two possible explanations: Maybe he's an alcoholic or maybe you're too ugly.

Pinoy: Apply po ako ng sundalo, sir.