Below the belt

The Philippine labor attach_ should look into some allegations by tsismosos and tsismosas in Virginia and Maryland that some Filipino nurses and teachers recruited from the Philippines are not or have not received all the salaries and benefits that were promised them in Manila.
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As more and more Filipino Americans volunteer their services to the poor and downtrodden in the Philippines, the ‘crabs’ have also been busy spreading rumors of alleged shenanigans being carried out by a few volunteers. The crabs have alleged that in one instance last year, some volunteers, particularly the males, mixed their humanitarian services with x-rated pleasures! The crabs added the volunteers were assisted by local officials or civic groups. Torns to the crabs.
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For some editors of the Manila Mail, the New Year was an eventful one. It gave them the opportunity to reunite with old  friends they last saw half a century ago, oops. Yes, the occasion was a “reunion” party hosted by Dave Valderrama et al in honor of his visiting brother, Ambassador Nicasio (Nick) Valderrama at the residence of Chris in Oxon Hill, Maryland on January 8. The editors, Lito Katigbak and Bert, met Nick when he was a budding foreign service officer at Padre Faura in the early sixties. Lito again met Nick, who was by then the Philippine ambassador to Pakistan, in the early nineties. The foursome combined represented a total of some 280 years of experience. Now, please don’t ask who is the oldest or the youngest. Suffice it to say that they might be old in age but still young at heart. The topic they liked to discuss when alone by themselves was always you know what.
Nick, by the way, expects to have a long life. A friend earlier had thought that he had passed away. In the Philippines, when such things happen, the old folk always say he will have a very long life.
Well, the reunion also became an occasion for Nick’s and Dave’s children as well as their in-laws to reunite and pose for photos. “This is a gathering of young adults,” said Dave during the photo session.
Highlight of the affair was a violin performance by Nick and Dave. (Shh. Nick performed better than Dave.)
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Tsismoso’s New Year resolution, like that of his hero, President Gloria “Hello Garci” Macapagal Arroyo, is to focus more on reforms in 2006.
The president’s resolution is to control her temper and to make peace with the media. Never mind that this is the nth year that she has promised to do so.
Well, Tsismoso, like Mrs. Arroyo, will also try to control his tendency to take advantage of the faults or mistakes of Filipino Americans in the Washington metropolitan area. I, or we, will try to avoid calling people names, stop dispensing raw rumors, and minimize criticizing or  exploiting the sins of Filipinos here and in the Philippines.
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Happy New Year and Praise goes to the newly-arrived Filipino teachers in Prince Georges who according to reports are experiencing a culture shock. They have discovered that contrary to the rosy picture that was given to them by recruiters in Manila, the job is turns out to be tough. Prince George’s classrooms are entirely different from the tame classrooms in the Philippines.
Kudos also go to the delegations of volunteers who are or have already left for the Philippines to pass out candies to the kids, medical treatment to the sick, books for schools, etcetera, etcetera. Included in the delegation is the Manila Mail’s Bing C. Branigin who hopes to chronicle her day-to-day activities in the Philippines. Of course this will not include detours from their mercy missions.
Alleluia to H. Jayceelyn (rhymes like condoleeza) Quintana, first secretary and consul of the cultural section of the embassy (Yes, that’s her real name) for putting up the Paskong Pilipino presentation in Washington D.C. last year.
Also worthy of praise is Consul Patricia V. Paez, press officer, who does not seem to get tired transmitting the daily press releases from Ignacio Bunye, presidential spokesman in Malacanang, to hundreds of Filipinos in the area.
Then there is the Philippine embassy’s Agriculture Attache Vic ‘The Rock’ Leviste who has remained loyal to his former boss, former Agriculture Secretary Cito Lorenzo who was at one time wanted by the Senate committee headed by Sen. Ramon Magsaysay to testify in the fertilizer scandal. Vic, we heard, was prepared to prevent anyone from following Magsaysay’s directive to perform a “citizens’ arrest” on Cito.
Critics have compiled a collection of Arr-aptions of President Arroyo. She often translated her speeches to make it appear that she is fluent in many languages. She speaks Spanish and delivers speeches in Ilocano up North, Visayan in the Visayas and Chabacano down South. However, some of her translations are so literal that they end up evoking images that range from funny to outrageous. Consider our top five favorite “translations” from her speeches, interviews, and pronouncements. Will include this in the next issue.