It's time to laugh - Time to relax

Now, it’s time to laugh. This portion was cut from my last column.(Tsismoso)

ENRIQUE ZOBEL: half Filipino half Spanish.
HENRY SY: half Filipino half Chinese.
JUAN FLAVIER: half Filipino half Igorot.
RAUL ROCO: half Hawaiian half Polo.
JOHN OSMENA: half Filipino half Filipina.
MIKE ARROYO: half Filipino half Pork.
AI AI DELAS ALAS: half Filipino half Moon.
GMA: half...

A song for our Honorable (DAW!) Congressmen and Senators,
Mayors and Governors:
“BOOM CORRUPT CORRUPT,
BOOM CORRUPT CORRUPT,
KURAKOT, KURAKOT,
BOOM BOOM BOOM!"

MGA JOB TITLES NA DAPAT NANG PALITAN:

(mas tama di bah?)

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ERAP: Hello, I would like to inquire how long is the flight to San Francisco?
OPERATOR: Just a minute, Sir..
ERAP: Really? Thank you..

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PILITA CORRALES - Asia ‘s Queen of Song.
LANI MISALUCHA - Asia ‘s Nightingale.
REGINE VELASQUEZ - Asia ‘s Song Bird.
GLORIA MACAPAGAL ARROYO - “Mole of Asia ”
Miriam Santiago is the model of a watch to be made jointly by Japan’s
Seiko and French’s Patek Philippe. The brand name of the watch is “SEIKOPATEK”.

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Bakit “S” ang nasa costume ni Superman?
Wala na kasing medium! Napansin mo, fit masyado, di ba?

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Ama: Bakit ka umiiyak?
Anak: Pumasa po kasi ako sa test. Huhuhu!
Ama: Aba , magaling! Anong subject yun, anak?
Anak: Pregnancy test po itay!

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Use “Bampira” in a sentence! Ahmm, Dodong.
Pautang naman, meron ka bampira?!

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Hindi makapagtimpla ng juice si Inday. Tahimik lang syang nakatitig sa
bote ng juice. Dahil nakasulat: Concentrate.
And more....

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PEDRO: Anong pulutan nyo kahapon sa birthday mo?
JUAN: Pata!
PEDRO: Wow! Anong klaseng pata?
JUAN; PATA galan ng kwento!

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JINGGOY: Dad, bakit ba maalat at may asin sa dagat?
ERAP: Sinadya yan ni Lord para sa ganun hindi mapanis ang mga isda..

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TITSER: Ano ang PAST TENSE sa LABA?
BOY#1: Naglaba mam!
TITSER: Tama! Ano ang PRESENT TENSE?
BOY#2: Naglalaba!
TITSER: Tama! Ano naman ang FUTURE TENSE?
BOY#3: MAGSASAMPAY mam!

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AMERICAN ENGLISH:
Eat All You Can,
don’t be shy,
feel at home!
IN TAGALOG:
kain lang kayo ng kain,
walanghiya kayo,
pakiramdam nyo bahay nyo to!

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ONLY IN THE PHILIPPINES :
1. Doctors go back to school to be nurses abroad.
2. Rats are normal house pets.
3. Soap opera is reality and news provide the dramas of life.
4. Actors make the rules and politicians provide the entertainment!