A judge of the District of Columbia Superior Court ruled against Roy L. Pearson, an administrative law judge who filed suit against a Korean husband and wife operator of a dry-cleaning shop.

Pearson complained that the shop lost his pair of pants. The couple tried to return his pair of pants later, but Pearson denied that it belonged to him. He claimed $54 million in damages principally for alleged breach of the shop owners advertised warranty- “Satisfaction Guaranteed”.

But how on earth did he come up with $54 million for the loss of a pair of pants? There must have been an incalculable sentimental value attached to it. Even Monica Lewinsky could not justify a million dollars for a missing blue dress.
Actually, I can understand the plaintiff’s mental anguish from his loss. You see, after coming home from the Korean cleaners without his favorite outfit, his wife must have given him hell after catching him with his pants down.
Who’s going to file suit next for big bucks? O.J. Simpson for the loss of his hunting knife or Paris Hilton against the Bureau of Prisons for her missing unmentionable?

***
I wonder if the Vatican is a little bored with prayers. Instead of spreading the word of God, the Pope has come out with a new set of ten commandments for drivers. My barber asked, “Was the Pope upset after driving incognito in the streets of Rome and being constantly cut off by free wheeling nuns?”

According to my unreliable source, here are the ten commandments for car drivers:
1. Do not drive a car to a drive-in movie lot. The road to temptation starts there.
2. Drive to church often, it improves your gas mileage.
3. Be faithful to your lane as you are with your spouse.
4. Thou shalt not covet the other driver’s right of way.
5. Do not drink before driving. You may not find the right key.
6. Obey speed limits, but hurry up for church.
7. Do not spit bad words when another driver cuts into your lane, say Hallelujah!
8. Wash your car like you wash away your sins.
9. Inflate your tires but deflate your egos.
10. Thou shalt not commit a sin on the back seat, not even on the front seat.

Trust my unreliable source at your peril. He has no access to the Vatican’s website. Will the Vatican please come up next with guidelines on how to pick the right plastic surgeon?

***
Senatorial elections are over in the Philippines. Two candidates who were involved in open rebellion against the government were among the victors. What do the votes mean? When Gregorio Honasan and Antonio Trillanes led a band of soldiers on separate occasions to topple the seating government, the people did not come out in droves to support them. When they ran as candidates in a constitutional process, they got the nod of the people.

The people must have sympathized with the rebels’ gripes against the government. They just do not approve of the means to effect change through violence. There is a worrisome undertone however to Honasan’s and Trillanes victories. Taking up arms against the government has supplanted screen stardom as the passport to political power in the Philippines. Watch out for the next adventurer and future senator.

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